I'll End You

So Mark, Gerry and Justin disappeared into the Congo on Wednesday and Thursday and they were supposed to meet with the UNHCR to talk about them doing piss all to help the 1.1million refugees in North Kivu alone. UNHCR didnt turn up theyre on holiday lucky them! But we delivered aid and my concoction to combat cholera ie salt and sugar! So far six kids in the camp have died from it the UNHCR remains adamant that there is no cholera!

Anyway Mark managed to get us into a party at the British Embassy through one of his friends so we Brited up though we thickened our accents and turned up late like true Irish and pretty much slagged everyone we talked to. We turned up it was a pub in the embassy called the Gorilla and the Goat drinks were cheap and the brochettes were awesome. The party was an eclitic mix: Rwandans who thought they were white and rich were in one corner but no white people talked to them then you had the tourists who had came to see the gorillas and had came to the embassy with their bumbags and rucksacks then the squaddies either mercs or private security, couple of volunteers, embassy staff and some white colonists relics from a time gone by still harking on about the empire.

We got talking to a couple of Norn Iron folk one guy called Ronan from Randalstown and Paul from Ballyclare - culcy as! But Paul was working for one of Bill Gates trust funds encouraging coffee cooperatives across east Africa. He made the mistake of trying to slag us and we ripped into him saying that he didnt go to Queens for "agricultural economics" but Greenmount and he was a glorified culcy.

We then got talking to his friend Kirsty who is the Rwandan Prime Minister's advisor ha mistake talking to me! I started off with what does your job involve then asked does the prime minister have any power considering its an authoritarian state. She used to work for Tony Blair so I asked her what it was like moving from democracy to a dictator her answer was 'interesting'. I asked her a few more questions on Congo 'its complicated' or 'I cant answer that' so I got bored and Mark and I tried to find another person to harass.

We met this expat, ex SAS claimed he worked on the Collateral and Bourne Ultimatum films said he served in Norn Iron and Iraq for six years and he is not working for a private security firm. His backers where Libya apparently and he was trying to get work in Congo. Though he said we were insane going to Congo - 'they eat people there you know' and 'Ive been is some shitty countries but I wouldnt go near Congo'. Love the old imperialists who dont trust Rwandans in their house or even to talk to. They were so racist it was crazy but after a few drinks I was advising him on the Congo ah me working for amnesty advising a mercenary that the Congo is where the real money is!

I managed to redeem myself by the end of the night by asking one of the embassy staff who works with the President if the whole justice/gacaca thing is going to work out and will Kagame survive considering that his predecessors died horribly - one starved to death and the other had his plane blown up and land in his house. She said it was a pretty big gamble and depended on the government showing that with out much electoral support they can achieve real results such as pulling people out of poverty etc which is happening in parts of Rwanda but that its gamble and if they lost it would be bad.

A fun night though most expats seem to stick together and they let bloody americans into the embassy! Most people went there every week and it seemed more of a pick up joint. Mark wanted to get his foot in the diplomatic door but nearly ended up in a fight with the SAS guy after he slagged Mark which Mark replied "I'll end you!" lol what a legend!